I Wanted to See You
by doinkies
Summary: Originally written for Yuletide 2008. It's Christmas Eve, and Kaori is torn. Will she confess her love to Sakaki under the Christmas lights? Or will she have no choice but to party with her coworkers? Takes place after high school. Sakaki/Kaorin.


Kaori sighed.

'I don't want to go to some stupid goukon on Christmas Eve,' she thought. 'I promised *her* that I would see the Christmas lights with her.'

Her coworker, a 22-year-old woman with the surname of Sakamoto, had invited all of the people in Kaori's department to do a goukon, or group date, at a fancy restaurant not too far from the office. Kaori really didn't want to go; she hated Sakamoto and everything about her – how she would always put on gobs of makeup in the train and get in others' way; how she stunk of cheap, oversprayed perfume; how she buried her cellphone in millions of tacky charms (one or two was enough for Kaori); how she spoke in the most nauseating voice – but she felt that she had an obligation to go; after all, she was her coworker and so were the other men and women in her department. They might think she was rude for not showing up.

She still felt conflicted, though. Just a few days before the goukon invitation, Sakaki had texted Kaori, telling her to come to her place. She said that she wanted to plan something to do on Christmas Eve. Kaori responded enthusiastically, saying that she would see her immediately. She then went to the pet shop where Sakaki was working.

Sakaki waited.

She waited inside the pet shop, by the door, thinking about Kaorin.

Ever since she graduated from high school, Sakaki hadn't kept in touch much with her old classmates. Kagura would e-mail her ever so often, and sometimes she'd spot Osaka-chan in various places, but that was it, mostly. The only person from back then who she had kept in close contact with was Kaorin. There was something about Kaorin that seemed interesting to Sakaki. Perhaps it was her constant awkwardness and shyness around her – it seemed to stir a protective feeling in Sakaki, something she'd only felt around cats up until then.

Sakaki wanted to spend more time with Kaorin face to face, to get to know her better than she could have back in high school. Unfortunately, Kaorin always seemed to be busy at work and did not have enough time to see her as often as Sakaki would like. Sakaki often worried about Kaorin's health, telling her not to work _too_ hard and that she would always be there if she needed her.

Sakaki was jolted from her thoughts by the ring of the little entrance bell. She saw Kaorin step through the door.

Kaori hesitated.

"Why don't we go see the Christmas lights display?" Sakaki had asked. "I've loved to see them ever since I was a kid. Have you ever seen them, Kaorin? There are so many lights on the buildings and trees…it's so beautiful and romantic. Let's go on Christmas Eve. Do you have anything else planned to do on Christmas Eve?"

Kaori stuttered a bit. "W-well…my coworkers want me to go to some goukon…"

"A goukon? On Christmas Eve?"

"Y-yeah…I don't know what they're thinking. I've never been interested in that kind of stuff anyway and then I'd have to sit next to Sakamoto-san who's a total burikko, she's always acting stupid and talking in a really high voice and she has a billion Hello Kitty straps on her cell phone and she's just…so…annoying."

"Why don't you just not go, then?"

"Well, they're in the same department as me, I'm worried about offending them if I don't go…"

"All right," Sakaki said, "just take your time and think about it. I'll be waiting downtown on Christmas Eve – if you're going to come see the Christmas lights, just come. If you're going to go to the goukon, then text me beforehand."

"OK. I'll think about it. Bye, Sakaki-san."

"Bye!" Sakaki said as she waved to Kaori.

Kaori looked.

If she was going to see Sakaki, she had to find a present for her, something that would fit her well.

She went into a small store with a variety of stuffed animals on sale, and immediately found something.

It was a small cat plushie.

Of course, since Sakaki was working at the pet shop she could be around real cats all the time (Kaori had examined Sakaki's hand while she was there and it didn't seem to have any evidence of bites either), but she still had a fondness for collecting cat plushies, cat books, cat pictures, and other cat memorabilia. This particular plushie was rare and was not in Sakaki's large collection; Kaori knew Sakaki's face would light up with joy when she saw it.

As she left the store she hummed a song to herself.

These days, Kaori felt some strange emotion well up inside her when she thought of or saw Sakaki. She'd felt it ever since high school, but others had dismissed it as just the normal "admiration of your senpai". She thought back to when she had tried to invite Sakaki to the astronomy club at the culture festival, how she had felt so embarrassed and ashamed, even, for not being brave enough to ask her.

It was the sort of feeling that Kaori had seen in high school dramas or read about in shoujo manga, where the heroine had a crush on the hero and wanted to confess her love, but always felt shy around him and was always distracted by something else.

'Could I…have a crush on Sakaki, too?' Kaori thought.

Yes, there was no denying it.

She loved Sakaki.

She wouldn't be with anyone else except Sakaki.

She could never be with anyone else except Sakaki.

And she would not let her coworkers set her up with anyone else.

No one could ever replace her, no one could ever make her feel the same way that Sakaki made her feel.

Kaori made up her mind right there – she would go and see Sakaki.

She didn't care about what Sakamoto-san and the others would think.

She just knew she had to see Sakaki.

Kaori walked down the busy sidewalk as fast as she could. It was full of people admiring the Christmas lights.

Clutching the wrapped present in her hand, she saw Sakaki standing by one of the giant Christmas trees.

"You made it!" Sakaki said happily.

"I have a…a present for you, too…" Kaori offered it bashfully.

Sakaki opened it. "Wow, I've been looking for one of these plushies! Thank you!"

"Y…you're welcome…"

As the two of them stood by the beautiful Christmas tree, all adorned in lights, Kaori felt it was the perfect time to say it.

"Sakaki-san, I…I…"

"What is it?"

"I….I….I love you."


End file.
